How To Survive "Going Viral"

At some point we all caught the internet fame virus. We either wanted to go viral ourselves or we wanted to know someone who went viral. Viral videos, photos or stories fuel much of our internet culture, leaving new careers, new celebrities, new memes, and often new scandals in their wakes.

When speaking about her music career I remember my late mother saying, "If we could just go viral that would be it!!" She believed that virality would open the doors to further success for she and her band, and if she were alive today she would still be chasing the illusive high known as "going viral."

But, virality has its downsides. If you post something some might deem controversial and it goes viral, you'd better have been prepared for it to happen by locking down any and all identifying information before then. All it takes is one Redditor discovering you live in a suburb outside STL and suddenly you're changing your phone number, deleting all your socials, and in some scenarios moving just to escape strangers on the internet stalking your home.

In other cases you might have neglected to take off your employer's name tag or badge, and now that same employer is fielding emails and phone calls from people who want you fired. It can get really heavy and really overwhelming really fast and we've already seen how quickly someone's life can be ruined by one viral video.

So, how do you survive it? What can you do to weather the storms of virality?

My number one tip, and this is for anyone making content on the internet, even if you don't care about fame or fortune, is to never use your real name. When you use your real name, you're inviting internet strangers into your life in ways that are truly dangerous and irresponsible. You wouldn't give your full name out to a scam caller, so why would you give it to millions of strangers? If you're using your real name online, you're doing just that.

I also recommend creating boundaries for yourself. One of mine is I keep my dm's closed. This means no one is allowed to message me privately on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, or TikTok. If anyone wants to get a hold of me, they can email me. Why does this matter? Because if someone sends me threatening emails, there are ways I can protect myself from them and find out the source of those threats. But, if they send those threats over dm's, whatever app they're using to do so shields them and essentially protects them from retaliation.

You don't have to close your dm's like me if you don't want to, but you should identify other areas of your life that deserve protection. Don't be afraid to say, "no" when you're uncomfortable. After going viral recently I received multiple media requests from companies vying for exclusive rights to manage and sell my content. I said no because it made me uncomfortable. I didn't want someone else deciding what happens to my content, even if it meant missing out on the occasional royalty check.

I created and I maintain firm boundaries to protect myself, and knowing I have protected myself gives me peace of mind, even if my comments are filled with people who dislike me or want harm to come to me. Because of my boundaries, I know I'm safe. I know I'm going to be okay.

Another important lesson I've learned is to be careful about who wants to be your friend or be associated with you after you go viral. For many years I've been cautious about whom I let into my life and I am proud to say I only have a few friends who also do this internet stuff and we were friends before virality. That doesn't mean intimate relationships and bonds can't be formed after, but I've seen people change after I've gone viral and it's always so disappointing. You should be liked for who you are; not for how many followers you have.

Above all else I want to remind you to stay grounded and stay connected to your life outside of the internet. Stick to the same routines that brought you joy before. Take time to put the phone or laptop down. Have someone you trust manage your comments for you. Put limits on how often you check notifications or emails. Remind yourself that viral fame leaves just as quickly as it arrives. This will eventually pass. So, try to enjoy it, if you can.

Lastly, reject the pressure to achieve virality again. I've had the great pleasure of going viral 5 times and each time has been slightly different, but ultimately the same: sudden rush of new followers, a neverending downpour of comments, small waves of trolls, and eventually life goes "back to normal." It's what we do in the "normal" that really matters. And if after going viral you become consumed with doing it again instead of returning to normal, you're going to stay disappointed and frustrated. Been there, done that. Would not recommend!

Going viral can be very, very cool - if you've got the stomach for it. Good things (even GREAT things) can come of virality, but at the end of the day you gotta be able to look in the mirror and not only like who you are but feel at peace with what it took to get you there. So, create those boundaries, stay grounded, and remember it all eventually goes away. Make the most of it and don't forget who you are.

And don't use your real name!

Thanks for tuning in. I love you. See you soon. 🖤