The Worship Of Woman

When I was growing up Evangelicals didn't talk a lot about Mary, despite how important the role of her character was for the whole plot to move forward at all. I mean, you can't have a protagonist aka savior without someone giving birth to them. Mary played that role and was then sort of brushed aside. She makes a reappearnace at Christmas at least. Evangelicals trod her out to remind women to be good girls and grow up into good women like Mary. I mean, there's more to it but that's basically what it boils down to.

"You're here to let your body be used by a diety to birth a great man. Definitely totally different than what Zeus did though. Anyways, the point is you're probably, what? 14? 16 max? And you're engaged? Dang, well, too bad. Because you're about to have a baby even though you're a child who has never even had sex.

No, you don't get a say in this. But, it's me. God. You know. The guy you've been raised to worship and obey no matter how f*cked up my demands may be or how many people will die so I get my way. So, uh yeah. You're actually so mature for your age. And this is not in any way predatory and violent. ENJOY BIRTHING A DEMI-GOD AND THEN BEING FORGOTTEN."

(Now, listen. Before you dump a bunch of angry religious rhetoric on me, I want you to know I fully 100% get it. I believed what you believe for over 30 years. So, I am in no way judging what anyone else believes or doesn't believe. It is not my business and not my journey. And just because that's what I took away from religion, it doesn't mean that's what you're gonna take away from it. And I am a-okay with that.)

But, I digress.

I wish I'd had a Mary. I had a heavenly father and I'm very grateful for my imaginary friend because I NEEDED one. Desperately. But, I wish I could have had a heavenly mother too. I needed the spiritual tenderness and nurturing of a woman because to he honest, while I had a decent dad in real life - not perfect, but he tried - my mom was a piece of work. And I didn't get a lot of tenderness growing up.

I have one of those mother wounds TikTok therapists talk about. It's a pretty deep one. I wish I'd been able to talk to Mary or Esther like I was expected to talk to Jesus and God. I wish I'd had more stories of strong women. I wish I'd been able to see more of myself in that ever-evolving, constantly changing, not-in-any-way original storybook we call the Holy Bible. Despite all its many updates, revisions, and complete fabrications, they never give women a bigger role.

I don't believe in god anymore, but I do believe in women. I may not have grown up with a Mary, but every day I walk among women and I can think of few things more sacred and holy. What joyful worship it is to love them and be loved by them.